Serving our Father God and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in Holy Spirit filled ministry since 1997!
Serving our Father God and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in Holy Spirit filled ministry since 1997!
Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God – even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of, so that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:32-33
Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1
Recently, one of my nieces married a Pastor and became part of a ministry family. Every family member has a role in the ministries of the church. This is a beautiful thing, but the situation is fraught with landmines for the inexperienced. I have been a pastor's wife for 40 years, and for 20 of those years I served as a Missionary in Latin America. Naturally, I wanted to share with my niece what I had learned during 40 blessed years of serving alongside my husband. It occurred to me that the lessons I planned to share with my niece contain principles that apply to everyone who belongs to a Community of Believers. That being so, I want to share them with you.
Advice For the New Pastor’s Wife
• Self-Care: Take care of yourself in ways that only you know how to do. Enjoy nature, cuddle with your pet, be alone or with a friend -- do whatever feeds your inner strength.
• Time With Jesus: Make the time every day. Don’t feel guilty when you can’t fit in as much time as you’d like but be sure to find strength and comfort when you can.
• Couple Care: Customize your schedule so you have at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to talk daily. Get up earlier/stay up later, enjoy a cup of coffee or a walk together without others (including the littles).
• Protect Your Family: listen to your gut/Holy Spirit as you lead your family. Do not agree to place your children or yourself in situations about which you are not wholly informed. Error on the side of caution and be protective when it comes to your children.
• Respect Your Privacy: Your marriage and your life are an open book before God. God loves and accepts you and your marriage. You don’t need to be as transparent with others. Speak in very general and superficial terms about your husband and your marriage. Always be positive.
• Find a Trusted Friend: Or two. Find a girlfriend who can listen and help you process life events. Call your mom regularly. Welcome feedback from those who are close to you.
• Activities Outside the Church: You need this. Join an interdenominational Bible Study, take up a hobby, work. Do something that is completely unrelated to the church you are a part of.
• Lead by Example: 1 Corinthians 11:1-2. Ultimately, it’s God we follow. But people like living examples, and role models for behaviors that are pleasing before God. Be that person.
Brenda Boston and her husband were Missionaries to Peru and Paraguay for 20 years. She also served alongside her Pastor husband in church ministry (now retired) for another 20 years. She is an RN, currently working as an insurance company's Director of Managed Care. She is a mother of two and a grandmother of three. Her passions are cooking, reading, family, and ministering alongside her husband in retirement. Brenda has been actively involved with the Daughters of Zion Women’s Ministries for approximately ten years.