Serving our Father God and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in Holy Spirit filled ministry since 1997!
Serving our Father God and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in Holy Spirit filled ministry since 1997!
Some say forgiveness is a powerful act of love and obedience that requires letting go of anger and no longer holding a grudge against someone who has sinned. A study from Johns Hopkins University found that forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack, improving cholesterol levels and sleep, and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression, and stress. Forgiveness is healthy. Why don’t we want to forgive if it is so healthy? Or why is forgiving so hard to do?
Matthew 6:15, says, “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (ESV.) God forgives us. When He tells us to forgive, it is not a choice but a command. Indeed, we may be genuinely justified in being angry about someone or something. When we see evil, when we experience evil, when we are offended, angered, or begin to hate, how do we turn that moment of hurt into healing? How do we forgive? Do we follow our parents’ orders and shake hands with the kid who pushed us down on the playground even though we want to push them back? Do we just “let it go?” I do not believe this is a genuine way to move on from a moment of pain and betrayal.
I do not believe in “forgive and forget.” I believe in “forgive and let the pain go.” Forgive the act and let go of the weight of the pain. You should never forget an incident from which you learned a life lesson. What someone else did to you can hurt you, but it should never control your perspectives, directives, or objectives in life. Purpose, not pain, should drive you toward your life goals, growth, and glory.
Psychologists, therapists, pastors, and the like believe in achieving forgiveness in different ways. Here are a few guidelines that have helped me that may also help you:
You must make a conscience choice to forgive.
Understand your emotions: Why do I feel like this?
Make a Quality Decision: Am I obeying God’s word? Am I allowing Him to heal what’s been broken? Am I comfortable holding on to the hurt?
Depend on God: Will he lead me out of this discomfort?
You do not have to reconcile, but you do have to forgive: Some who have hurt you will never grow and can’t be trusted again.
Put down the burden of hate: It's heavy and limits your capacity to become who God wants you to be.
Do not rehearse the pain: Ask God for peace regarding the situation. Wait for Him to show you how to move forward.
Accept the apology you receive: Many do not receive the apologies they are owed or offered.
Looking back won’t change the past. It takes your eyes off the future. Forgiveness frees the soul, releases the mind, and strengthens the spirit. Forgiveness is not easy, but it's possible.
Minister Merrillynn West was born and raised in San Francisco, California. She matriculated through the school system, graduating from San Francisco State University. She immersed herself in Christian education and earned a Master’s in Theology with a concentration in Christian Counseling from Pneuma Theological Seminary. She finds great joy in making jewelry and writing words of inspiration through prose and poetry. She is currently part of the music, education, and ministerial staff at Calvary Hill Community Church of San Francisco.